The past few weeks have been hard.
Emotionally it’s been a struggle.
I cling to the Lord. His promises. His truth. His presence.
I sit with the IPOD playing Shane & Shane as I stare at the faces of the innocent children of Sandy Hook. And the tears flow uncontrollably.
Oh Lord, how long must we suffer on this earth?
I pull my children closer every chance I get. Kiss their cheeks a million times a day. Read the same books over and over again. And thank God for another day as their mother.
I click over to RR (as I do everyday) and see if Colton has a family coming.
He still waits. And the tears flow….again.
WHY?
Why must this little boy suffer? Oh God, please, please save him. Let him be CHOSEN and CHERISHED.
I stare at the beautiful faces of the 800+ children on RR. Waiting to be chosen. Wanting to be given a chance.
Oh God, WHY?
And now, I wait anxiously to hear of the news of Russia closing adoptions to American families. 600K+ orphans in Russia, 60K adopted by American families. Families stepping out in faith for these children–now trapped in institutions.
It’s too much for me to handle emotionally.
I fall to the floor in the quietness of naptime. And the tears continue to flow.
But in these moments, God is there. He’s ever-present. He’s sovereign. He still sits on His throne.
Even if the tail still rampages, Satan’s head is crushed.
And God is still there. Giving me more of Him.
I want more of you God.
Set a fire down in my soul that I can’t contain. That I can’t control.
There’s no place I’d rather be than here in Your love.
I want more of you God.
Rise up and pray church. Be Bold. Be Radical. Be Different. Be Gracious. Be victorious in this ongoing battle and let GOD have more of us in these darkest times.
Amen